#MeetSajida
November 01, 2019
CHAPTER I : MEET SAJIDA
He comes with a backpack but no jacket. His eyes keep on
me that sits on a hospital bench close to the room. He puts the backpack next
to me, get my forehead by his lips.
“She will be ok,” He
said but sounds more like talking to himself.
The doctor comes out.
They talking but I am not in the mood to join. I am not sure how to do my
feeling right now. Dejavu.
“Ma” This little
handhold mine. Those eyes -her father's eyes- keep on me. I am freezing
standing right beside the bed while She is trying to get me but can't.
“Maryam?” He sits on the
bad hugging our baby and reaches my body to join them. I can feel that Sajida
has no longer energy even to hug me. In this hospital room, that more like our
second home, He is the one that crying softly. For God's sake, I hate him.
The phone in his pocket
vibrated. It is my brother who made a phone. He left me and Sajida lying on the
bed to talk with my brother outside.
Meet Sajida, my beautiful
baby. Sssttt she is breasting, sleeping. Kiss her at this moment after what
happened since last night always calm me down. It is weird how she smells the
same with her father even when they have no contact for days. Sleep, Saj. Sleep.
“He said sorry”
“For?” I answer,
voiceless. Sajida moves a bit.
“Can't talk to you”
takes a sit, turn down his volume.
I knew. It has been more
than 2 years and my brother still can't talk to me.
“Maryam? I am sorry
about last night. To fight you, yelling at you and leave. I am so sorry for not
to be good to you” He meant it. I look into my baby.
I never expected that
one day I will in this situation. Being a wife of a foreigner that counted as a
refugee and being a mom of a baby without any nationality. As well as I never
expected to come back to my country without any family member that cares about
me, about my life.
Home. After our last
night fight and others fight, this bad home becomes worse. Every single time He mad there
will be things that broken. Things that we can not buy: chair, table,
glassware, our other satellite phone and so and so. As always I just come into
the house stay inside the bedroom with Sajida.
He wakes me up to pray.
it is almost 4 pm. I am starving and found a full of food in our -broken-
table, a neat living room, and a hot water prepared for Sajida bathing.
It is not only a bad
day. These are a bad life.
Hello, my name is Jack Sparrow. I'm a 50 year old self-employed Pirate from the Caribbean.